Reflection

I feel like a reflection
of my old self,
a trembling vision in
the surface of a lake. 

She stands in the sun,
with joy on her face,
a smile so bright it rivals
the orb in the sky. 

I watch her lift her 
hands and dive in,
squealing from the cold
hitting her skin. 

My face is distorted,
the water moves too much
to allow a smile to exist.

She disappears – 
I do the same. 
But she will still emerge
from beneath the waves.
I am tangled in the weeds,
I can’t seem to escape,
trapped in the cold dark pool,
I have no choice but to stay.

(Copyright 2023 Leona Petrovic)

Valley of Shadows

Life is not linear,
there are low points
and high points,
mountain tops
and canyons. 

Sometimes you will 
trip and fall 
into valleys of shadow. 
Every step will feel
as if shards of glass 
are digging into the soles of 
your feet 
as you make the climb out.

It might take weeks,
months,
years,
but one day
you will look around
and realize you are no longer
in the depths 
your own mind trapped you in.

(Copyright 2023 Leona Petrovic)

16 Forever

I dream of a castle

where I never grow old.

I am 16 forever,

forever alone.

I stand on the parapets

and stare at the clouds

and life means less everyday,

when I’m 16 forever

and all I do is stay.

And all that I once loved

turns musty and stale.

What’s the point in forever

if forever is pale?

I suppose life would be lifeless

without mortal constraints

but I’d love to be timeless –

at least for a day.

A little piece I wrote a while ago. One of my favorites I’ve written, to be honest. xx inkgirl

Copyright 2022 Leona Petrovic

Making gods

Humanity’s legacy is death
though it should be life.
Someone, thousands of years ago,
molded himself a god.
No need to feel bad now,
no need to change.
No need to make an undue
effort to stop our legacy.
It’s all god’s will,
he preached,
accept the end.
And death is not the end,
there’s a thousand different
afterlifes.
Filled with food
and drink and music.
And thanks to this genius,
life began to mean
less and less every day.
Why care about the life
you’ve been given
when there is a better one
waiting around the corner?
Sometimes she thinks
about the start of all the gods.
Why they were made
and who brought them to life.
And in the end all
she knows is that if
she was making a god
she would make it
to help herself
feel less like a failure
and morally superior
to all the fools who
do the things she doesn’t like.

Just a little think piece. I’m not saying that every religion is completely wrong or that they don’t have some good ideas. Just that sometimes, religions can do more harm than good. Sometimes making a god is not the right way to go. XX, the inkgirl

Copyright 2020 Leona Petrovic

Image Credit: https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/splosh999/hades

Four leaf clover

The grass tickles my
stomach and my thighs.
I roll over
and unearth
a four leaf clover.
I clasp it and wish you back
but there is no mortal thing
that can raise the dead
to life.

Copyright 2020 Leona Petrovic

Cavern of solitude

Encased in a metal cocoon
of solitude.
She can think in the silence
filling the cavernous corners
of the armor
she has built over time.
She makes her way through life
hiding her true face
behind a helmet.
You can’t think 
your way through life 
but she is determined 
to try.

Copyright 2020 Leona Petrovic

Image Credit Here: https://www.imagekind.com/art/surrealism/solitude/artwork-on/fine-art-prints

One form to another

Energy cannot be
created or destroyed.
It flows from one
form to another,
seamlessly, like water.
This can be seen in the
way that the life
left your body,
in the way that all
that made you what
you were leaked out
onto the cold Autumn
ground, a warm red
waterfall ready to take
on another form.
Ready to move on.
What are you now,
I wonder to myself,
where did all that life
and energy take itself?
I guess you are a part of the
very fabric of the world,
woven into the energy
that holds the universe together.

Copyright 2020 Leona Petrovic

Image by Julia Watkins. Link: https://energyartistjulia.bigcartel.com/product/hummingbird-magic-energy-painting-giclee-print

Hard to function

Sitting, learning about functions.
The graphs swim before my eyes
and I find it hard to function.
I look at the points: the curves,
circles, parabolas they make.
They remind me of the way
life goes up and down and twists
your brain into endless cyclones
that send your thoughts into
a frantic flurry of insanity.
I blink and pick up my pen
and turn to the blank graph again,
once more ready to dive in
to the chaotic world of numbers.

Copyright Leona Petrovic 2020

Image Credit Here: https://www.etsy.com/market/math_painting

Silver lining

There are some things in life
that if you make it through them
you can make it through anything.
They are cataclysmic, earth-shaking,
bone-breaking, heart-tearing events.
They take the core of your very being
by the hair and drag you through hell,
setting your bravery on fire and leaving
you singed and trembling and transformed
into a newborn child for the second time.
If you can go through hell and back again
at least your heart will be more resilient –
not much can make you break anymore.
At least there’s that, I tell myself, at least
there is one silver lining to this misery.

Copyright 2020 Leona Petrovic

Image Credit Here: https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-illustration-lonely-girl-sitting-rock-sorrow-sad-cliff-one-digital-art-emotional-image68152059

Leave sometimes

Stay in your mind,
don’t venture outside.
There is nothing out there
but pain and hurt.
But somehow there
is also nothing more in here.
If you don’t leave,
you will drown.
If you don’t leave,
you won’t have the chance
to find healing and life.
So, leave your mind sometimes.

Copyright 2020 Leona Petrovic